After a long winter’s hibernation down under, WIDAGO is finally wet again.
Ahab, along with with Brothers Moseley, Wise Terry, and Admiral Pawpaw – are setting out on a bro-cation upon the Great Barrier Reef. This trip has been on the books for quite some time, and now is finally here. WIDAGO’s original crew did not make the trip as William is at school in Tennessee, and I am living at high altitude with David and Gordon in Idaho doing the middle school thing. I shall take tremendous liberty in reporting the gentlemen’s adventures, in lieu of any real investigative journalism.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. While true, I think Ahab is also recognizing that child labor really had its perks, and he doesn’t know where anything on the boat is. Apparently he has also forgotten that there is a 14 hour time difference between Mackay and Idaho. The midnight phone call to discuss laundry techniques was not met with warm fuzzies. Seriously, dude – you’re almost 50. I think it’s time to figure out how to do laundry.
If I really take time to think about it, I guess I was too soft Ahab. Granted he maintained sole responsibility (as far as he is concerned) for getting our family alllll the way to Australia, but other than that, the boys and I took care of pretty much all the domestic duties required (except cleaning the hair traps in the shower – yuck – blue job). Ahab’s lack of domestic engineering experience is beginning to cause him some distress. Here are just a few examples the multitude of questions I have been fielding on my International AT&T phone plan over the past few days:
“How do I clean the floors?”
“Where is the medicine?”
“What kind of soap do I put in the laundry?”
“Which opening do I put aforementioned soap into the laundry cleaning machine?”
“How do I provision?”
“Where did we store bread?” – I swear to God that was verbatim.
“How much food should I buy?”
“What do we eat for dinner?”
“How does a rice cooker work?”
“How much coffee do I put in the French Press?”
Luckily, I left a copious amount of canned goods aboard – specifically large quantities of canned green beans and corned beef hash. Yerp… My dilemma at this point is do I enable Ahab by sending a meal plan (“Don’t forget Ali, there’s five adult men, and none of us can cook.”) with coordinated shopping list, or should I provide a teachable moment, a learning opportunity and let him figure it out? Were it my 15 year-old, I’d let him figure it out. However, since I stood on an alter 20 years ago and made a slew of promises, perhaps I am obligated to demonstrate love & compassion, help a fella out. Hmmmm….. choices.
Luckily, Susu (Ahab’s momma) is in port for a few days prior to the start of the bro-cation. This definitely means that bedding will be freshened, bathrooms bleached, and coffee purchased. She is not one to coddle or enable, but make sure the fellas will get started with a tidy boat. As for the food and provisioning, I think Uncle Eddie may be channeled as the crew loads up on man-food: Coffee, meat, chips, cereal, Power Bars, and hopefully “real tomato ketchup”. Nothing but the best.